Tennis, Leadership, & Commencement Speeches

Don’t think me weird but I like listening to Commencement speeches.  Usually they have a bit of humor like: why did the graduate eat his diploma?  He wanted to taste success. But aside from the jokes they try to offer some life advice to a group of optimistic people who believe their best days are still in front of them (my kind of people).  I spoke at my High School graduation ceremony and afterwards my sister said, “I knew then you would be a preacher.”  Not sure that was meant as a compliment.

The American humorist Art Buchwald once mused that a commencement speech had an afterlife of 15 minutes. If you can even remember who spoke at your graduation, you probably don’t remember much of what they said. So maybe it shouldn’t surprise us that athletes are increasingly replacing the politicians, thinkers, and CEO’s as the main speaker.  Just this year, former Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter spoke at the University of Michigan, former NBA stars Grant Hill and Carmelo Anthony delivered addresses at their alma maters — Duke and Syracuse, respectively — and Olympic gymnast Simone Biles gave the speech at Washington University in St. Louis.

Sometimes the advice is tongue in cheek like Mary Smich’s 1997 address famously known simply as “don’t forget the sunscreen speech.”  But she gave other great advice like don’t forget to floss. I like it when the speaker pokes the bear like Lakers great Kareem Abdul-Jabbar who spoke at Drew University in 2016: “Lilacs are in bloom, love is in the air, and colleges and universities invite success stories like me to stand behind fancy podiums to convince parents and graduates that your education was worth the outrageous price.”  If you never heard Steve Jobs’ 2005 commencement address at Stanford (where he dropped out) you need to youtube it immediately.

Three Timeless Thoughts

But Federer’s commencement address was something different — sincere, gracious, indelible. It was delivered in June of 2024 but I’m just now getting around to listening to it.  I got to admit I didn’t expect much from it.  I suspected I would get a litany of sports cliches but I’m a Federer fan so I listened in thanks to Youtube.

I was drawn in by his story about personal success and failure. Over the course of two decades, he emerged as one of the greatest tennis players who ever lived. He played 1,526 singles matches in his career and won almost 80 percent. He hoisted 20 Grand Slam trophies, including Wimbledon a record eight times.

“Now, I have a question for you,” Federer said, looking out across a sea of umbrellas at the commencement ceremony for Dartmouth College. “What percentage of points do you think I won in those matches?”

He paused. “Only 54 percent,” he said.

Ok, that got my attention.  Here was one of the greatest of all time and he did just a little better than 50% wins.  It got me thinking about my own approach to success and failure.  How do we measure success in our career?  We don’t win points although I suppose some would look at attendance and offerings as their scorecard.  But whatever you measure have you thought about the possibility that the difference between success and failure can be so small?  A point here or a point there is game, set, match. What that also means is that you are probably very close to getting over the top and winning (however you define that). 

Which brings me to Roger’s first point: effortless is a myth. 

What drew me to Ferderer as a player was how easy he made it look. He glided around in ballet like fashion, ripping one-handed backhands. He never seemed to sweat or get upset. But there was only one way, Federer explained, to make something look that easy.

“It’s not about having a gift,” he said. “It’s about having grit.”

He went on to talk about the work and discipline it took to “look effortless.”  Success requires discipline and the grit to keep on doing the right things even when they don’t seem to be making a difference.  Don’t stop doing the good work that god has set before you. Keep the discipline going.  Paul talked about training the body.  You could be so close to turning things around…of becoming your own version of effortless. Great leaders learn to love the disciplines, the process, more than the results. 

Have a Short Memory

As Roger was introducing his second lesson he shared the story of his five-set loss to Rafael Nadal in the 2008 Wimbledon final, a match widely considered by many as one of the greatest of all time. Seeking his sixth consecutive Wimbledon title, Federer had lost the first two sets, clawed back into the match by winning tie-breaks in the third and fourth sets, only to lose 9-7 in an epic fifth, the match ending in the evening dusk. I remember being glued to my seat through it all. “You can work harder than you thought possible and still lose,” Federer said, before adding: “Perfection is impossible.” It was at this moment that Federer referenced his career record and his percentage of points won: 54 percent.

“Negative energy is wasted energy,” Federer said. “You want to become a master at overcoming hard moments.”

When I heard those words I realized we were moving into a solid gold moment.  He was talking about the power of resilience.  He spoke of approaching each point as the most important point of the match but then letting it go the moment it ended. 

Kurt Vonnegut was asked what was his favorite book that he had written.  He said, “My favorite book is the next one I write.”  Great leaders, writers, athletes, all have the ability to move on to the next thing without letting hard moments (disappointment) keep working in the back of their mind.  Ted Lasso may have said it best, “Be a goldfish.”

Life is Bigger Than the Court

Roger’s last lesson was equally profound: life is bigger than the court.  He said he came to the realization that tennis could show me the world. But tennis could never be the world.”

I confess I fought this my entire career.  What we do as leaders in the church is more important than anything else going on in the world.  We are talking about eternal consequences for what we do or don’t do for Jesus.  But we are more than what we do.  If you are a pastor than find ways to be more than a pastor.  Don’t let who you are be tied up in what you do.  Have some fun.  Get a life outside the church, or your business, or whatever it is that dominates your life.

I’m always a little sad when I do a funeral and all the family can tell me is all the things the person accomplished.  Maybe they give me a list of groups they belonged to but what they can’t tell me was who the person really was.  Build a life outside of your “main thing” so that family and friends know who you really are. 

Have some fun.  Make some stories.

I think I’ll go golfing now.

Until next time I wish you all the grit, grace, and gratitude you need to be the best version of yourself.